Chapter 11
It was the landlord, Mrs. Ramsey.
She opened the door and widened her eyes, asking, ‘Who are you? Where’s Willow?”
She lived upstairs and the soundproofing in this house isn’t great. It can’t contain the unrestrained arguments of four people.
1/10
She liked peace. When I lived here, there was hardly any noise.
After this sentence was asked.
I watched as four people, as if their necks were being choked, suddenly went silent.
After a while, my mother spoke.
“We are Willow’s family. She has passed away and we have come to pack up her things.”
Mrs. Ramsey was shocked and couldn’t believe it. In the end, she even shed tears.
As she went upstairs, she cried and muttered, “What a good girl. Why was she so unlucky…”
I was indeed unlucky.
Chapter 11
It had been unlucky from birth till now.
After being interrupted, they stopped arguing and started. packing up my things in silence.
Actually, there was nothing much to pack up.
2/10
I came into this world with nothing. And I left this world with nothing.
The only thing that bothered me was that they didn’t seem to
care about me.
Finally, my mother collapsed on the edge of the sofa, flipping through medical records.
It was dusk again.
The blood–red sunset shone through the window into the room.
The sound of car horns from outside could be heard.
She stopped and her expression gradually became trance–like.
Did she recall something?
For example, that evening by the roadside.
She tried holding my hand, and I only pushed her away slightly.
But she eagerly took back her love.
Chapter 11
She was always so stingy with me.
3/10
“Can you blame me?” My mom closed the conversation record and spoke in a hoarse voice, “She’s never been sensible since she was little, and she’s not close to me. We have three children in the family, and of course, I prefer the one who’s closer to me.
No.
Mom, you’re wrong.
You have mistaken the order of cause and effect.
When I was first brought back home, I instinctively sensed your indifference, so I kept testing you.
Vivian offered to help with the housework, and you laughed and said that children don’t know how to do anything, and told her
to go rest.
When I offered to help you wash the dishes, you eagerly agreed.
Because I broke a bowl, you poked my forehead and scolded me for being clumsy.
“Mom.”
Once again, I spoke with my hoarse voice which they couldn’t hear.
The broken sobs in my voice were no longer concealed.
Chapter 11
4/10
“Mom, it was you that brought me into this world. I don’t know anything.”
“I will only love you the way you love me.”
My love is a mirror that reflects back your love.
Everything.
From the sarcastic remarks to the hysterical outbursts, you taught me all of them.
In this home, your significance to me is different from anyone else.
I once stayed in your belly, connected to you by blood for a full ten months.
This connection persisted even after I was born, still subtly tugging at me.
Even when I had fled a thousand miles away, it still pulled at me, almost imperceptibly.
Even after I die, I would still be drawn by this invisible force, and my soul returned to your side.
I tried to convince myself that the world is vast and life is broad and that I didn’t need to be dragged down by the confines of my family.
Chapter 11
I went to see the mountains.
I went to see the oceans.
I learned to let go of my anger.
I take medicine on time every day.
5/10
But when I passed through a certain city and saw a little girl in an amusement park holding a red balloon and holding her mom’s hand, I still found myself suddenly freezing in place.
Looking at her.
Just like when I was in elementary school and heard my deskmate tell me proudly how much her family cared about her.
She failed an exam and her mother scolded her.
She intentionally ran out of the house, and her mother had a hard time finding her, holding her and crying.
She said she was so afraid of her getting lost, and that she wouldn’t scold her anymore.
I didn’t know back then, that only a child who was loved could do this without hurting herself.
So the next time I was punished to be locked in the storage room by my mom, I suddenly pushed open the door and ran out.
I ran away from home.
Chapter 11
6/10
Sitting on the old swing in the neighborhood, looking at the sparse stars in the night sky, I rehearsed in my mind repeatedly.
What should I say?
What should I say to Mom when she comes to find me out of worriedness?
After all, she is my mom. I don’t want to hurt her that badly.
So I would just tell her to be nicer to me in the future.
But I waited until midnight.
Dark clouds covered the moon, and it started to rain lightly in the sky. There were no stars.
I returned home soaking wet.
The whole house was quiet.
Everyone had gone to bed.
Who would come out to find me?
The next morning, I left home with my backpack. My mom was sitting at the dining table having breakfast. She said lightly:
“You’re willing to come back? I thought you were going to live outside for the rest of your life. It would be great. We could have one less mouth to feed at home.”
Chapter 11
Only a child who is loved dares to act spoiled and has the qualification to throw a tantrum.
I had never been able to break free from the PTSD of my childhood.
After the age of fiv
7/10
of five, I had been restlessly rushing around in a
world without proper guidance.
I had asked my mother many times why..
I was almost begging her to love me.
Not to love me the most.
Just, a little bit.
Like you would do with Joshua and Vivian.
You’re not incapable of love, why can’t you love me?
Why is that?
There was no answer.
Night fell.
She turned another page.
Before she could start reading, the police station calls again.
8/10 “Sorry, Mrs. Jones. We just caught the suspect and things have been busy around here. Your daughter left some belongings here. Can you come by and pick them up when you have time?”
y mom and Joshua left together.
My
The lights were just coming on outside, and the streets were crowded with cars and people.
She walked with her head down for a while before suddenly asking Joshua, “Do you think Willow hates me?”
“No, she doesn’t,” Joshua replied without thinking.
Joshua was clearly taken aback and it took him several seconds to awkwardly squeeze out more words.
“Mom, after all, you gave birth to her… As that murderer said, she was still calling out your name before she died. How could she blame you?”
At this point, he suddenly fell silent.
Joshua was already twenty–one years old. He wasn’t a naive child anymore.
He had never really liked me.
His hatred for me was not like Vivian’s malice. It was not as obvious or proactive.
Most of the time, he just silently stood by Vivian’s side, being the
Chapter 11
one who supports her.
9/10
However, children’s behavior was simply imitating the adults. who held the power of life and death in the family.
Joshua and Vivian would never dare to target me like this if they didn’t have the consent of their dad and mom.
I followed them and came to the police station for the second
lime.
The police handed my mom a bag of my personal belongings.
The contents were simple: a set of keys, a pack of tissues, and a phone with a screen cracked like a spider web.
There was also a blood–stained and completely twisted gold. bracelet, and next to it, a crumpled card.
“Happy birthday, mom.” It read.
The moonlight was shining.
My mom stared blankly at the gold bracelet and at the blurred. handwriting on the card stained with blood.
For a long time.
In her eyes which were always either indifferent or emotionally intense towards me, a mist of tears gradually welled up.
On the seventh day after my death.
Chapter 11
10/10
In the year I turned 25.
My mom finally shed a tear for me, for the first time in her life.
Write your comment