Chapter 90
“Caelan actually seems kind of nice. He was so gentle when he massaged my legs… I think I might… be falling for him a
little.”
“Today, he bought me my favorite mango cake. I heard he even made it himself. My feelings for him have deepened again.” Page by page, as Caelan flipped through the diary, his tears fell one by one, landing on the once clean pages.
But as he turned to the final entry, he saw the last thing I had written.
“Caelan has fallen for someone else. I don’t want to love him anymore.”
I had written that on the very day I first discovered he had cheated.
Seeing those words, Caelan could no longer hold back the emotions he had been desperately trying to suppress. His sorrow burst forth in waves and his sobs carried boundless grief.
He had always believed that I had only stayed with him for money, that I never loved him or cared.
“Then why wouldn’t she even take care of our child?” he asked hoarsely.
Shanin replied sharply, “It’s not that she didn’t want to take care of the child, it was me who didn’t let her! I just wanted to give the two o you some space, so maybe your feelings could grow naturally.”
In truth, she realized she had been wrong, too. She shouldn’t have taken the child away to raise herself. She should’ve let Jane bond with the baby.
If she had, maybe Jane wouldn’t have left so decisively.
“Then why did you insist I marry her?”
“Because of you! Have you forgotten your gynophobia? Back then, you couldn’t stand being around any woman. Any physical contac made you uncomfortable and you would instinctively pull away. But Jane was the first one you could be close with. I thought maybe you were immune to her. And when she got pregnant, I figured you should take responsibility no matter what!”
At that moment, something suddenly clicked in Caelan’s mind.}]
Back then, it was true that he hated physical contact with women, to the point of extreme aversion.
But with Jane, he had felt no resistance at all. On the contrary, being close to her made him feel at ease, even comforted.
That night, he had acted purely on instinct. He had taken her and claimed her as his own.
As Caelan recalled everything, the despair in his eyes deepened.}
It was he who had pulled her into this cage. And then, using that very cage as an excuse, he ended up hurting her.
He was wrong. He was so terribly, irreparably wrong.
Caelar fell to his knees, clutching the notebook as uncontrollable sobs wracked his body.”
Just then, the toddler, still learning to walk, staggered toward him, looked up with innocent eyes and called out in a soft, confused voice, “Daddy…”
The child kept calling out, but when he didn’t get a response, he started chanting softly, “Mama… mama…”
That day, when Caelan told me that the child had called Bella “mom,” it was a lie.
He just wanted to stir a sense of urgency in me, hoping I would start caring more about the child.§
That way, he could also fool himself into believing that I still cared about him, too.
***
As for me, I’d always had a gentle personality. I was never one to fight or compete which was why many of my classmates enjoy being around me.”
Before long, I’d made quite a few friends. They never looked down on my previous educational background and whenever I encountered something I didn’t understand, they were always there to lend a hand.
They would also invite me to join their gatherings.”
I knew I couldn’t stay shut in my own little world forever. I needed to grow in every aspect. So I gladly accepted their invitations.N
At that moment, I was sitting with friends on the lawn outside a chapel, basking in the warm breeze. We chatted casually, laughter flowing freely among us.
But suddenly, a shadowy figure appeared and the smile on my face froze instantly.
I looked ahead and saw Caelan, standing not far away, staring at me without blinking.N
My expression shifted slightly. “Wow, Jane, there’s a super handsome guy over there staring at you!”
A classmate noticed him and excitedly shook my arm.