Chapter 8
“Uncle!”
On Bella’s first birthday, she finally said “Uncle” clearly for the first time. Before that, she could only babble.
Carl’s eyes turned red.
He muttered, “Harry must be so happy.”
On the weekend, I took Bella to the park for a walk and called over
Tom.
He brought me a cup of coffee but with too much milk and sugar. I used to like it that way, but now I had gotten used to drinking black coffee.
“You know Carl is…” he suddenly asked.
I was surprised that he had found out.
“You knew,” he said with certainty. “So, he really is Harry’s friend. Why did you lie to me?”
I laughed, “How did I lie to you? Did I ever say I was going to date him, marry him, and have him be Bella’s stepdad? He did promise Harry to take care of me and Bella, and he’s been doing so.
“Well, even if you did lie, what’s the problem? If not, would you kee bothering me? Could I ever get any peace?”
He said he couldn’t accept someone like Carl being around Bella.
I was speechless. He had just reset my understanding of him.
“What kind of person are Carl and Harry? You’re someone who discriminates against minorities. I’m the one who has to think about whether I should let you be around Bella.”
He couldn’t argue about it.
Changing the subject, he asked, “Sara, do you hate me that much? Can you forget our past and throw me away like that? I’ve been working myself to the bone this past year, because when I have free time, I can’t stop thinking about you, Bella, and our past.
“I failed Bella, but in this world, no one loves her more than I do. Are you going to take away her right to have a father?”
Bella sat quietly in the car, eating a cheese stick. Her eyes were fixed on a group of children playing games in the distance.
I replied, “There are plenty of people in the world who grew up without fathers and are doing just fine. Many have fathers, but they would have been better off without them.”
He became agitated. “There are plenty of fathers who couldn’t be there for the birth of their child, who didn’t get to see their child’s face first. But that doesn’t mean they can’t be good
Chapter 8
fathers later.”
3/3
I felt exhausted. “No one is stopping you from being a good father. I’m not stopping you from seeing Bella or finding her a new dad. What more do you want?
“Do you want me to remarry you just to give Bella a complete family? I and Bella are both complete individuals, and our home is a complete one. I don’t need a man, and Bella doesn’t need a father.
“If you keep repeating these same old words, trying to test if I’ll soften up, then there’s no point in meeting again.”
Tom sneered, “You only know how to threaten me with Bella.”
I stood up and pushed Bella along.
“Because I can. I have the right to. Bella is my daughter and mine alone. You can choose not to feel threatened, or you can take me to court,” I spat.
Later, he apologized and asked to see Bella. I refused.
I had been too soft before, thinking that since he was Bella’s father, it might be cruel not to let him see her. But now, I realized I was wrong