5.
Silence hung in the air for what felt like an
eternity.
L
Finally, he said, barely above a whisper, “No.”
I glanced out the window at the dark night
and replied, “Can I come tomorrow? It’s pretty
late now.”
Jake’s voice was tight, like he was gritting his
teeth.
“Tori, I’m in the emergency room.”
I nodded, then remembered he couldn’t see
me, so I said, “Oh.
You’re out now, right?”
After a moment of silence, there was the
sound of something being smashed.
L
My hand on my violin jumped.
When the noise died down, his voice, cold as
ice, came back.
“Yeah, I’m out.
So, you’re still planning to come tomorrow?”
I thought for a second.
“Tomorrow afternoon, maybe. I have stuff in
the morning…”
He cut me off, his voice sharp and cold.
“Tori, did you ever love me?”
I froze.
く
I heard Jake’s voice, filled with
disappointment.
“Why are you always so calm?
Why are you always so calm about everything
with me, everything between us?”
He paused, then gave a small, humorless
laugh.
“No, not calm. Cold.”
I opened my mouth, but my throat was
clogged with cotton.
Time stretched out, long and endless.
Finally, I heard Jake take a deep breath,
regaining his composure.
<
“Tori, let’s break up.‘
With a crash, my violin fell to the floor.
I scrambled up, and when I bent down to pick
it up, I realized my hands were shaking.
The phone was still connected.
I picked up the violin and sat back down on
the couch.
Outside, the night was pitch black, like the
sun would never come out again.
After a long silence, I whispered, “Okay.”
Jake laughed, a broken sound.
く
“Okay, hahaha, okay.
Tori, Tori, what is your heart made of?”
After that, Jake left the country, and we never
saw each other again.
We were together for two years, and we
didn’t even have a face–to–face goodbye.