15.
I did not.
I do not deserve love.
The nightmares were hard.
My teacher told me to stop my travel because
of the internet.
I stayed home.
I looked at the mirror.
く
My shirt was low, showing the tattoo.
A heart, and “Jake.”
If I left home, it would be covered.
Only I knew.
I had a true heart, burning.
But never showed it.
I had bad experiences, and did not want to
love.
I loved my grandma.
But she waited for me for 7 years.
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I loved my mom.
But she slapped me and told me that I wasted
time.
I loved my dad.
But I got a terrible secret.
After breaking up with Jake, I thought a lot.
I loved him.
I cried when he crashed.
I wanted to tell him when I won.
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Chapter 2
I would drive for ten hours straight, cross
state lines, to see him on tour.
Even though I was allergic to the numbing
stuff, I’d still grit my teeth and get his name
tattooed on me.
But I couldn’t show it in my eyes.
I couldn’t say the words.
I took the burning hot heart he gave me, and I
slowly froze it over.
He would say he loved me, so excited, but I
felt nothing.
I think I was seriously messed up.
く
After Jake and I broke up, a teacher hooked
me up with a therapist.
I went a few times.
That’s when I found out I really was messed
up.
The doctor said I had emotional detachment
disorder.
Emotional detachment meant delayed
reaction and sensitivity to emotions.