9.
“Rachel, I was wrong, I really know I was wrong”
11:39 AM J.
<
“You shouldn’t have hidden it from me, you should have told me everything. You were afraid I couldn’t handle your death, but do you know how much more painful it is to know you’re alive but not by my side?”
“I don’t dare ask for your forgiveness, I just beg you to let me stay by your side, to walk the last part of the journey together, okay? Don’t let Adam keep me away anymore. I’m willing to transfer all my money to your name…”
“Rachel, the reason I didn’t give you money before wasn’t just to take revenge. It was more because I was afraid that if you had money, you would leave me again. I can’t bear to live without you, really I can’t…”
Ethan’s tears had already formed a puddle on the ground.
From the moment Adam left and he was able to enter my hospital room, he had been crying non–stop. The guilt and pain in his eyes had almost solidified, crushing him.
I couldn’t help but sigh.
“Don’t be like this. I told you, you don’t need to feel guilty.”
Ethan rubbed his swollen eyes: “It’s not just guilt, Rachel. There’s also love. These years I did hate you a lot, but it was because I loved you that I hated you so much!”
“When I was tormenting you, I was in more pain than you were. My heart hurt no less than yours, but I couldn’t help it… Rachel, just thinking about how you heartlessly abandoned me back then, I would lose my mind in pain like a madman.”
He said a lot more.
The sunlight shone through the window onto his profile.
Making half of him in light, half in shadow.
Like the two stages of me and him, both angel and devil.
I couldn’t help but want to reach out and touch him, but suddenly came to my senses and smiled bitterly.
“Did you really love me that much?”
“You made me do three jobs, not giving me a moment’s rest every day. I could still comfort myself saying you hated me because you loved me.”
“You brought girls home, taking them to the bedroom in front of me. I just thought you were deliberately tormenting me, and I could bear it.”
I closed my eyes, my voice gradually becoming unsteady: “But Ethan Evans, when you brought Olivia home, looking at her with doting eyes, I clearly saw love in your eyes.”
“You bought her a house, spent tens of thousands on gifts without hesitation, and even couldn’t bear to let her film the water scene, calling me in as a stand–in…”
And on our wedding anniversary, he only cared about celebrating Olivia’s birthday.
There were countless such incidents.
That girl who looked 70% like me had now become a second me in his heart.
“It’s not like that, Rachel. I never truly loved her.”
“It was only because she looked like you that I favored her a bit-”
Before he could finish, Adam returned and tried to drive him out.
Ethan refused to leave, his hands tightly gripping the door frame, looking at me with pleading eyes.
11:39 AM J.
<
As if looking at me one more time, showing a bit more care, would give him one more chance to win me back.
But it was destined to be a zero probability.
No matter how it’s calculated, it can’t add up.
“Go, Ethan Evans.”
“I don’t love you anymore, and I don’t hate you. I just want some peace and quiet, to never see you again.”