Chapter 10
FREDA WHITLOCK
“Me neither,” Lyra spoke with a softness that almost melted my chest. Seeing her through the phone was different from seeing her physically and I had just realized that. I had missed her. Her comforting scent, her warm hands, her sweet embrace.
I could not wait to hold her. I had been lonely and even though I had Francisco, there was only so much that he could do and understand.
“How’s dad holding up? Think he can see me tomorrow?” I asked Lyra as I packed my hair into a loose ponytail and sat in front of the phone. She smiled at me. “You’re going to be here by tomorrow?” She asked with a smile. “Noon, if my calculations are right,” I speculated.
Her smile widened into a grin and I smiled right back. “He’s going to see you anytime,” she reassured me and I nodded. “You better get some rest. You have to be here by noon tomorrow,” she winked and I smiled as I hung up.
I glanced over at where Cisco was lying down. He had had his fill of dinner and dessert and I had read him a story about a princess that had been hidden away for years.
He had said he liked her and he would like to meet her. It has hurt my heart to tell him that she wasn’t real, but he was already asleep by the time I had come up with a reasonable answer for him.
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I took a deep breath and laid back in the small bed. It was significantly less comfortable than the one I had laid on at the previous motel. But that was okay, because I doubted I would actually be able to sleep from how anxious I was.
The anxiety was choking the breath out of me and I was trying so hard to hold on to life and strength, but I was failing. I was failing badly.
I bit my lip and looked up at the wooden boards of the ceiling. It was the most beautiful thing in the motel.
That was a little annoying because I had paid more for this motel than the previous one and it had turned out to be c**y.
I shook my head.
My thoughts were spiralling and I was trying hard to settle them on the little annoyance I felt because the motel was **y. But they kept drifting to my home pack. To my step mother, to my sister… To Kaiden.
I buried my face in my hand. How was he going to react to seeing me? What was he going to say? How would he react to seeing Francisco?
Would he be mad that I had kept a child from him for almost six years?
I shook my head at that thought. He had no right. He had absolutely no right, and if he dared to get annoyed with me, I was going to tell him that.
No…
I did not want to see him. I did not want to see him for any reason. I did not want to see him, or my stepmother, or anyone at the pack. I missed my sister and I still loved her, but a part of me resented her for all she had taken from me, so I did not want to see her either.
I just wanted my father… My father and Lyra. They were the only true family I had back then and they were the only true family I had had in all these years.
An overwhelming wave of grief struck me and I blinked rapidly to stop the tears that filled my eyes. My father… He was dying. He was leaving me behind with just two people in the world.
He had done a lot for me. The most I could do for him was stay with him till he took his last breath. I wanted him to know I loved and cared for him. I wanted my face to be the last he saw so he would feel all the warmth in the world.
My life was a complete mess. I sat upright in the bed, too inconvenienced by the bed to lay down comfortably, and too pained emotionally to force myself to sleep. I could not do it.
I was a waste. I was a twenty six year old woman whose life had come to a complete standstill, and was on the verge of ruin because of a mate that did not want her or love her.
I had tried. I had tried to hard to be stronger, to be better. And I had failed multiple times. I had disappointed myself a hundred times.
I bit my lip hard with a frown, because this time… There was not a single way I could fail. I did not have the luxury of failure or the chance to disappoint myself. I had lost all chances to disappoint myself.
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Because I was going back to the place that had once been my home and I had to be strong, I had to be a better version of myself no matter what happened or what I faced. I had to show every single person that had hurt me in one way or the other that I was over the pain they had caused, and they could not hurt me anymore.
I laid back in the bed and stared up at the ceiling with that very thought in my mind. I chanted it like a mantra and sometime in between, I fell asleep.
*** *** ***
“Guess what, baby,” I grinned as I drove past a sign that boldly said ‘Welcome to Brookbacke’. “What?” Francisco asked. My eyes were on him through the rearview mirror and I watched him look up at me from the iPad with curiosity.
I grinned, ignoring the way my heart thumped heavily in my chest.
“We are almost there,” I squealed. A smile touched his lip and he forced himself to hide it. “You said that yesterday and the day before yesterday,” Cisco complained and I laughed.
“I know baby,” I admitted with a smile. “But we’re almost there for real this time.” I promised.
“I’ll see Aunt Lyra? He asked with excitement that touched my soul and I smiled at him. “You’ll see grandpa too.”