2
I rubbed my eyes, my first reaction being that I must have misread.
I pick up the notebook and walk to the living room.
I read that line again.
“I hope Mom disappears.
She looks so scary when she goes crazy at Dad. She drove Dad away.”
I collapse onto the sofa, experiencing for the first time a pain so intense it numbs me.
The study light comes on. Kevin emerges, beaming.
The moment he sees me, his face instantly reverts to its usual coldness.
He says nothing, picking up the car keys from the coffee table.
As he passes by me, I catch a whiff of his cologne.
It’s the scent of gardenia.
This cologne – I chose it for him when we were dating in college.
Back then, he was just a nerdy engineering student who wore black–rimmed glasses and plain t–shirts with shorts, clueless about fashion.
I gradually updated his style and picked out my favorite cologne for him.
“Wearing cologne when meeting girls will make a good impression,” I told him.
He said he’d cherish everything I chose for him.
12:35 PM
He’s used it ever since.
The familiar scent begins to soften my heart, memories of happier times flooding back.
I think of our ridiculous war, of our beloveds
son.
The pain Tommy has caused makes me desperately seek a lifeline. Once again, I swallow my pride and try to make peace with Kevin.
I can’t help but stand up from the sofa, grabbing his arm
tightly.
“Kevin, let’s talk.”
I cry silently behind him.
He shakes off my hand.
I notice his phone shows an ongoing call.
Who has he been talking to so late at night, and why did he put on cologne to meet them?
“Kevin, have you left yet? I’m waiting downstairs. I’ve been craving BBQ for ages~”
A girl’s coquettish voice comes through the phone.
The soft, delicate voice suddenly reminds me why he’s been giving me the cold shoulder this time.
I quickly turn away. But Kevin grabs my arm.
He raises an eyebrow, smirking: “If you beg me, I’ll stay and keep you and Tommy company.”
beg begg
Kevin has always enjoyed seeing me tamed, begging for his mercy. Especially now, when another young girl is vying for his attention.
His offer to stay feels like a condescending act of charity.