His words stopped anything I was going to say. I gaped at him, unable to say a single word as everything inside me felt like it just froze.
I stared in wonder as he shot up from his chair and started pacing the room. He seemed so agitated that I could almost feel my heart stopping for a second and went out to him.
Alec, I began but stopped when no word came out of my mouth.
I had no idea what to tell him or what to do. He had caught me completely off guard and surprised me to the core.
I didn’t expect this to be the reason. If I am being honest, I thought the reason why he wanted me to go back was selfish. I wanted it to be selfish. That way, I could convince my heart and mind that he is still the same arrogant and selfish man I’ve always known.
If you had told me that one day Alec would try to do something this selfless, I would have laughed in your face and told you to shut the fuck up… But here we are, and I don’t know what to do with it.
I don’t want to lose you, Sadie, he repeated. I just can’t.
He doesn’t stop in his pacing, just grabs his hair before shaking his head and letting go.
I’ve never seen him like this. He is always composed. Always put together. Even when Lola left him, he didn’t fall into this state. Yes, he was angry and resentful, but not this pitiful.
I rub my chest, trying to ease the discomfort. The bond was really working overtime to make me feel things that I didn’t want to. I didn’t want my heart going out to him. I didn’t want to feel sorry for him. I didn’t want to humanize him and I definitely didn’t want to feel like his pain was my pain and his discomfort was mine too.
With how things are right now, there is a big chance there will be a war. his eyes seemed wild. Like a caged animal that has finally been set free. Given your premonition, I want you far away from that war. I won’t risk losing you. I’d rather we lose the war than lose you.”
He was speaking from a place of fear. I could recognize that. After all, didn’t I think of running back to my pack, my safe haven, when things got a bit too overwhelming and scary? Didn’t I wonder if it would be worth it, probably losing my life? Didn’t I almost back out because I didn’t want to miss Aspen growing up simply because I went to fight a battle that wasn’t mine, and I lost my life in the process?
I completely understood, but it wasn’t right ‘d figured it out a long time ago was completely terrified but I knew I had to do it because it was the right thing for me to do. For the sake of Aspen, everyone loved and the innocent. I had to fight if there was ever going to be a war.
Come here, Alec, I called him gently. He stopped his pacing and turned to look
at me. He didn’t do anything at first, just stood there with bloodshot eyes, so I repeated what I’d said. Come and sit down.
As if his legs were made of lead, he slowly walked towards me before dropping on the chair.
You realize I was given these powers for a reason? I questioned. Nyx could have picked anyone to be bonded to, but she chose me for a reason.
He remains quiet. His eyes cast down, staring at his hands.
I continued. It would be selfish of me to have all these powers and not help.
At the cost of your own life?
Do you think I’d be okay hiding when people are dying, knowing very well that I can help even if I don’t make it out alive? Would you be okay standing by while others fought in a war?
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