I am just about to flee after having said my piece when his hand grabs my arm. I twist around and face him. His gaze is intense, as his green eyes pierce mine in a way that leaves me breathless.
For the first time in our lives, Alec’s gaze isn’t indifferent as he stares at me. I gasp at the emotions playing in those green eyes. Guilt, remorse, desire, curiosity, determination, acceptance and so many more. I pull my eyes from his, unable to stand the intensity of his emotions. I try to wrench my hands from his, but he doesn’t let go. Instead, he grips both my shoulders and forces me to face him.
I want a chance, Sadie, he states with determination.
I blink a couple of times, trying to figure out if I heard him right or not.
You are kidding me, right? I finally push the words out of my lips. You have to be joking.
Do I look like I am joking?
I can’t help the sarcastic chuckle that leaves my mouth. Isn’t this just funny? This has to be the cruelest joke life has ever played on me.
I’m taken back to years ago. This was a dream for me. I would have jumped at the chance, ecstatic that Alec was finally asking me to be his. It would have been a dream come true, and I would have been over the moon… But that was years before. Years before he tore my heart out and left it shattered and bleeding on the cold, hard floor in the dungeons.
You’ve got some balls, Alec. I have to admit that. I snap, feeling my anger and bitterness rise. What the hell makes you think I’d give you a chance after everything you did to me?
His grip tightens. His eyes shifting between mine. His brows are also drawn. I know that look. He’s thinking. Trying to come up with the answer… But he really can’t. I doubt he can ever find a suitable answer.
Lifting my hand, I point to my scar. I have this as a reminder that loving you is a mistake. That loving you will bring me nothing but pain. I look at this every day, and I am reminded that you killed everything I ever felt for you.
He doesn’t say anything, so I
continue. Given all that you did to me, tell me why in the world would put myself in the position to be hurt, ridiculed, and tortured? I loved you once and I paid the price. I’m not willing to go through that ever again.
I exhale shakily, my heart wrenching painfully as I’m taken back to three years ago.
I’m sorry, his eyes plead with me to hear him and believe him. I’m sorry for what put you through. Fuck, I could say that I was lied to, but that would just be an excuse. Give me
the chance to be your mate. Give me
the chance to fix my mistakes.
I heave the breath I was holding. He just doesn’t get it, does he?. Forgiving him is easy. Forgetting is the hard part.
I doubt you can ever fix your mistakes, Alec. Talking about the past just opens up the wounds I’m trying so fucking hard to heal.
It always feels like salt is being
poured on my open wounds. It
leaves me aching and gasping for breath a try to fix myself and pat myself back together. I hate the past and if there was a way to get rid of those memories, I would do it ina heartbeat.
I wrench my arms from his, fighting to keep my emotions contained. Without another word to him, I turn and leave. I can go train somewhere else.
I’ll fix things between us, his voice follows behind me, but I don’t turn back. I will win your love back, Sadie. Mark my words.