I’m completely speechless. To be honest, I didn’t even for once think that might be the case.
I stumble back and drop onto the nearest chair behind me. It’s like all the energy I had has been zapped from me, leaving me a weak mess.
Raven’s word make sense. With everything Nyx knows and all that she has taught me, I always felt like she’s not from this modern time. I couldn’t really place my fingers on it, but there was just something about her. Something that felt out of this world.
Her way of thinking, reasoning and doing things gave off age-old vibes. She is like an old soul stuck in the modern and new-age world. It’s something I never understood about her. I mean, every werewolf gets their wolf spirit at the time they are born but is only able to shift into them when they reach maturity. With Nyx, it always felt different. I don’t even know how to explain it without sounding batshit crazy.
Think about it, Sadie, Raven kneels before me and then takes my hand in hers. This is the only plausible answer as to why you feel like you know Kaden.
I know what she’s saying is true, but it’s still hard to accept it. I mean, all the thoughts I had concerning Nyx were just theories, a hunch, but now there is proof that they may not have been just assumptions. That hits differently honestly and it scares me. You have to ask her, Sadie. Raven squeezes my hand, her voice soft and comforting.
My heart is racing, and I am frozen, probably because I am in shock. Shocked by what this could mean if it turns out that Nyx does really know who Kaden is.
I-I I try to force words out but all I end up doing is stuttering. My brain is completely blown away so I can barely think straight.
I tap my foot. Something I do when I am nervous or on the edge of having a panic attack. I try breathing in and then out, but the air gets stuck. I feel like I am suffocating.
Seconds later, I can barely get my lungs to function as I have a hard time breathing in. I start gasping for air as the world blurs around me.
Breathe in, darling; breathe in, Raven tells me calmly as she rubs my now cold hands. Take a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth.
She knows how to handle this and so does King. After all, this isn’t the first time I’ve had a panic attack. They started a few months after Alec tried to kill me in his office. At first, we didn’t know what they were; it especially happened when I was really anxious and afraid. When I felt like something was out of my control, just like I’d felt in the dungeons.
It’s after it had happened a couple of times and King forced me to see a doctor that it was diagnosed. It hasn’t happened in almost a year, so this Kaden thing was a big trigger.
I do what she tells me. I breathe in, hold it for a few seconds before releasing the air through my mouth. The aim was to try and slow down my racing heart and calm down.
After a couple of tries, slowly I regain my sight, and I am able to see Raven. She’s staring at me with concern and worry.
I-I’m okay, I stammer, grasping her hand in a tight hold, using the contact to tether me to reality. I am okay, I repeat the words, more to myself than to Raven.
Closing my eyes, I take another deep breath. I force myself to calm down. It doesn’t matter if she knows him or not. It doesn’t matter if she’s older or that she was someone’s wolf before. None of those matters. What matters is that she’s my wolf now.
I will be okay, damn it. I’ve been through worse before and I have survived. The answer won’t change anything. She’s mine. She’s my wolf, and, despite whatever happened in her past, I’ll be there for her. I’ll be there to help her deal with it, just like she helped me in my time of need. She is mine, and I am hers. Everything else be damned.