10.
From late autumn to early winter, to the flying snow, Ethan kept watch at the hospital.
Adam wouldn’t let him into the ward, so he waited outside the window. While others had put on thick down jackets, he still wore only a thin shirt, but seemed not to feel the cold. Every time I looked over, I could see his foolish gaze with a smile.
Perhaps as death approaches, the heart also softens.
Afraid he would freeze to death if he continued like this, I agreed to see him one last time.
“Rachel, I really never loved Olivia. I’ve taken back everything I gave her and even blacklisted her in the industry. She’s living a very miserable life now. Are you a little happier?”
Seeing that I didn’t speak, he walked directly to the window, blocking the wind coming through the cracks.
Actually, the heating in the ward was quite sufficient, he didn’t need to do this, but he did it anyway.
Just like years ago when we lived in the basement, even after I had recovered from my illness, he would still insist on taking my temperature every day, making ginger soup, and getting up in the middle of the night to clear the ice water seeping from the corners of the walls.
I closed my eyes, not daring to look at him anymore.
The once tall and handsome Ethan Evans was now as thin as a rake, looking more like a terminal patient than me.
“Ethan Evans, live well in the future.”
“Look forward, just consider that I’ve forgiven you, don’t torment yourself anymore.”
市
Ethan’s hoarse voice was choked with tears: “Rachel, I don’t want your forgiveness. I want you to hate me, dislike me. You can hit me, scold me, I don’t care, just please don’t ignore me…”
“I can’t bear it, I really can’t bear it.”
This time, I believed him.
But it was too late.
He had 7 years of opportunity to show his feelings, but he chose to wait until my heart had died and I was
What meaning do these belated tears have?
“Think what you will, I’ve said all I have to say. Take care of yourself.”
at
My body could no longer support a long conversation. After speaking, I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep.
Ethan continued to chatter by my ear: “Do you know, Rachel? Back when you had a high fever and I carried you to the hospital, I had already imagined this scene, watching you leave while being powerless to do anything.”
“Just thinking about it made me so sad I couldn’t breathe.”
“But when the day really came, I’m a million times more miserable than I imagined. I would gladly exchange my life for yours…”
11:39 AM
<
“Just thinking about it made me so sad I couldn’t breathe.”
“But when the day really came, I’m a million times more miserable than I imagined. I would gladly exchange my life for yours…”
I couldn’t help but bite my lip.
Years ago when Dad was critically ill, Mom had prayed like this.
But there are no miracles in this world.
After Dad passed, Mom cried every day and didn’t last long before following him.
So what about Ethan? How long could he hold on?
As I was thinking, Ethan asked a question that made me suddenly open my eyes:
“Rachel, do you still have any love for me now? Even just a little bit, even just liking?”
His eyes were full of longing and expectation, as if he had mustered all his courage to ask this question.
As if as long as I said yes, he could grasp onto this little bit of feeling, like clutching at a lifeline, to avoid drowning in endless pain.
But was there any left?
I shook my head almost without hesitation.
“No more.”
“Ethan Evans, those seven years of nightmare–like days have long since worn away any love to nothing.”
As I finished speaking, Ethan seemed to lose his soul.
He stood there woodenly, hunched over, taking difficult steps as he left the hospital room, left the hospital.
After that, I never saw Ethan Evans again.
On my deathbed, Adam, who came to visit me, finally brought news about Ethan.
“That guy really brought it upon himself. He regretted tormenting you for so many years and started tormenting himself to him, he had already gone mad, guarding that drafty old house.”
“Saying that as long as he keeps waiting, you’ll definitely come back…”
But I…
atone. When I saw
Can never go back.
我
As I was leaving, I seemed to see scenes from my life flashing before my eyes, finally stopping at the first glance Ethan and I shared when we
met.
A man and woman deeply in love, loving purely, loving passionately.
Life seems like an absurd dream.
Initially leaving him was out of fear that he couldn’t withstand the separation of life and death, that he would be too heartbroken.
Who would have thought that after all the twists and turns, in the end…
Nothing had changed.