I’ll win your love back. Mark my words!
His words keep ringing in my head over and over again. I try to block them, to bury them, to ignore them, but nothing works. They keep playing in my head like a broken record.
I scoff at both his words and my inability to ignore them. It sounds ridiculous when you think about it. I mean, how does he think he’s going to win back my love? You can’t win back a love that’s already dead. You can’t win back something that you yourself destroyed. I drop on a log once I am certain I’ve put some distance between us. I knew that coming back to his pack would be a challenge, but I never thought it would be this difficult.
Everywhere I turn, there are memories that haunt me. I have lived here since I was a baby. It’s hard to ignore almost twenty-one years’ worth of memories even though most of them become tainted when this pack, along with its leader and my best friend, turned their backs on me.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I can see them clearly. The memories of the naïve fool I used to be. I can still feel the love I had for Alec, as if it’s still alive in me somehow. I can even taste my tears every time I cried because, unknowingly, he broke my heart. Looking back at my former self, I can’t help but be disappointed and disgusted. I can’t believe that I chased a man. I can’t believe I continued to chase after Alec even though I knew he would never consider me as a lover. That’s why I prayed so hard for him to be my mate, because I knew he wouldn’t have chosen me otherwise.
A chuckle full of mockery leaves my lips. I did get my wish, and my prayers were answered, but things didn’t go as I had expected. It honestly was the cruelest twist of fate.
Sometimes I wonder if our lives
were a kind of sick joke to the moon goddess. I wonder if it entertains her to watch as she messes with lives without care in the world. Does she sit on her all-mighty throne and laugh as she plays with our lives? It’s not once or twice since my life went toshit that I questioned if she actually gives a fuck. I stopped believing in her, and I honestly think she’s a nasty, selfish bitch.
Don’t fucking talk about her like that! Nyx growls so viciously, it makes me topple over just from the intensity of it.
I grab the sides of my head, hoping it will ease the pain she caused. Technically speaking, I didn’t talk about her; I thought about her… and besides, what I said is the truth.
No, it’s not! She fires back, her
claws digging into my head,
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punishing me for my blasphemous thoughts She’s kind and loves all her children. She has the best interest for us at heart. She is good and gracious. Gives without asking for anything back. She forgives and shows mercy no matter how many times we break her heart…
I’m going to have to stop you there, Nyx. You are trying to make her sound like a freaking girl scout.
She’s the moon goddess…show some respect.
I sneer before getting off my knees and planting my ass on the ground. There is no way I am going to risk another fall off the log when she decides to give me a splitting migraine.
Nyx and I agree most of the time. Okay, about ninety-five percent of the time. The other five are usually because of two things: her secrets and the goddess.
I’m bitter with the goddess. Sue me!
But she doesn’t get it. She believes wholly in her despite the hell I was put through If she was indeed good and kind, given the pain I endured three years ago, she should have given me another man as my mate… But no, instead she makes me the mate of the same man who broke my heart and body! How does that show she’s good? Where in all that does it prove she’s a loving goddess? It just shows how cruel she is!
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